This is a Mistake.

I planned to sleep at 1:30. 2 hours later, here I am awake writing this post. I'm beginning to feel to tired. I was going to keep typing but I realized I should sleep and my mouse cursor is jumping to other lines at times and I don't really want to deal with that right now.

Sleep: It lets you not deal with reality.

If you want to dance...

you gotta pay the fiddler. That goes with a lot of things. You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.

After work, a few coworkers and I kick it. We're trying to get another to hang out with us but he's feeding excuses and making it appear like an appearance will not happen. We entice our coworker with the allure that we're not going to smoke or drink but rather to hang out. Little do we know, our coworker actually shows up.

I'm glad for the presence of our coworker but I really didn't want to work out after drinking and what not. Regardless, I said I would and I originally planned to before the kick it was planned so that's what I did.

Sometimes, you have to do things you don't want to do to get what you want to get. I hate to refer to work but some people shy away for hard work. I have been the victim before and by no means do I mean I'm the best colleague but I'm always straight up with them when it comes to their ass on the line.

Anyhoo, hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.

Good night!

I can't sleep...

I've been weird bouts of waking up in the middle of the night or not being able to fall asleep quickly as of late.

Quoting the late great Theodor Seuss Geisel:

"...you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

I must have been having shitty dreams as of late. I'll keep this short because I planned to sleep 51 minutes ago. Time for me to act like a BMW and Z3 (ewww car reference)

Night!

S A

My friend Deanne is looking for scholarships and came across this prompt.

" The Live Deliberately Essay Challenge is available to students at least 13 years of age. Consider Thoreau's belief that living a simpler life will make our life richer in many ways. He even suggests that our complex, complicated lives cause us to feel alone, poor and weak - and that solitude, poverty and weakness would no longer exist in a simplified life. Explore Thoreau's beliefs about simplicity and how they resonate in your own life then write. Then, write a personal reflection. Essays should be no longer than 500 words."

This is what I think:

To answer this question we have to define what a simple and complex life is. I think with any situation comes its own set of problems. More money more problems, no money doesn't equal no problems.

The man who wants a ferrari can want it as bad as a kid who wants a happy meal.
To the man, a happy meal is no big deal because he can easily acquire one, but for the kid it's not as easy.

I don't think that life is complex or simple, it is what it is and our minds are the ones that interpret the information and make it appear to be simple or complex.You can have the same exactly life and just decide to change how you perceive it. Back to the happy meal scenario. The man can get a bunch of happy meals and so the kid would be envious and wants to grow up so he can get what he wants now. The man envies the child because all that it takes to be happy is a simple happy meal which he can have a lot of but the no longer make him happy. This is where the grass is always greener adage comes in.

Verse 1 Get 'em!

I've neglected my rapping for quite some time now. What is even suckier is that I have friends that know some folks and can actually help me get the ball rolling on my "career". I've never taken rapping seriously. I always try to keep it fun and what not but I can't but freestyles like I used to. I really need to get back on it.

As I dig through some folders on my computer, I find a bunch of written raps. A lot of them suck but the important thing is that they exist and that I did something. Right now, I'm not doing much when it comes to rapping. Gotta get back in the lab and just start churning out lines, good or bad.

You are your habits.

Want to be a new person? Get new habits. Simple as that.

Wellllll maybe not so simple. Getting new habits isn't always easy. After all, you do have to contend with your old habits and old habits die hard. I recently have decided to move to a slower carb diet. I haven't completely revamped my diet as I know my adherence rate would be abysmal. Remember, when more is better, any percent of something is better than 100% of nothing.

So I started off with eating breakfast, 3 eggs, yogurt and a protein shake. I planned to do it only for one week, that way I knew it would be an attainable goal. I didn't modify anything else I ate as I wanted to make this change as easy as possible.

Beating an old habit is difficult because it takes active consciousness and action to defeat. I'm going to the snack room at work; I look around and am faced with two options. I could eat whatever junk food is laying around or I could go for a more nutritious item. If my goal is to eat food more beneficial to me getting more physically fit, I know I should eat the nutritious snack. Will I? I'd have to know first off, I have a decision to make. You may think this to be basic but had I not had this new goal, I would have automatically chosen junk food as it would be the only choice in my head. Once I recognize I now have a choice, I have to actually choose what I find to be aligned with my goals.

This section is called "Personality: You Don't Have One"

You do not have a personality.

You do not have a personality.

YOU DO NOT HAVE A PERSONALITY.

Well, at least I think so. You aren't the same person you were yesterday; however on most days, you just live like it. People make choices based on the information they're given. Overtime, a person is accustomed to weighing out information in a way it makes sense to him or her. One may go on living through life thinking a certain way and so people would say based on that person's behavior and decisions made that he or she has a personality type. He or she doesn't have anything, he or she just is. It is we who evaluate the other person and mentally construct a framework to understand them. This provides us with a quicker system to predict their behavior.

Realize then, that person is free to do whatever he or she pleases and if it violates our notion of them that's our fault for assuming. Realize as well, that you are bound to nobody and don't owe anybody anything. Be what you want. Become what you will. The only thing holding you back is yourself.

You win some you lose some...

How many of each depends on you. Sort of.

Bad game of basketball, I really need to work on my fast break finishes and points in the paint in general. I felt this time around though my team was taking a lot of bad shots. A lot of bad shots. A lot of bad shots. I know its all fun and friendly but damnit I like to win. I like to win especially when I know we can win. We weren't out matched or undersized or anything. There were just a lot of "black holes" on the team. Granted, they made some good passes here and there but for the most part a lot of forced shots that I felt should have been kicked back out.

I'm not blaming them, its just an observation I've made. When other folks on my team aren't doing too well I suppose then the only thing I have control over is what I do. In this case, I will need to play even better.

On an unrelated note, (because I talk about basketball and work too much) I had a great time going home this past weekend for my father's birthday. We went to House of Prime rib which was pretty darn delicious. It wasn't a Donovan's but granted it was a little bit more reasonably priced. I began drinking with my father and realized some of his drinking habits were most likely passed down to me. We had some Jack and Cokes, some glasses of wine and a few more Jack and Cokes. The seed doesn't fall far from the tree, especially if the seed falls into a glass of wine.

Afterwards I met up at my homie's house and caught up for a little bit. Proceeded home and knocked out. The next day we had a bigger family lunch at a Chinese restaurant. Food was okay, I just really like their honey walnut prawn dish. I left to meet up with Derek and Mike to watch Battle Los Angeles. Pretty solid movie, very solid friendship. I like how we can come back together and it's just like old times but new. I suppose the title can be applied to this friendship as well, you win some you lose some which ones and how many depend on you.

Content

I wonder if I could become a good content writer at my company. In my head, it seems that content writing is like the words to a commercial. I feel like I could write the words to a decent commercial. The only issue I might see is punctuation. I'm going to go to a website (Toyota in this case) and will select some car. In efforts to be not dealer group biased. I have picked Toyota which all of my current accounts have a dealership of. The info I am pulling from will be coming from here.

Protect the planet with the all new 2011 Toyota Prius Five. At 50 combined mpg, the Prius' fuel efficiency make it the best in class for mid-sized cars. It's 1.8L innovative engine invigorates the environment by helping reduce the emission of greenhouse gases. The Prius Five comes with features such as integrated fog lamps and a uv reduction windshield, as well as optional packages like Safety Connect that include emergency roadside assistance and automatic collision notification . Driving a Prius Five saves the environment from you and you from the environment It's a two way street with savings on both sides.

Projectile

After another Friday at work, it was time for me to go to Big Bear! I head over to my homie's house where I'm on time and therefore an hour early. This reminds me of days ago when I used to be in cotillions and always on time but only to wait for everyone to show up. It finally happened enough times to the point where they'd tell me the real practice time instead of the "account for Filipino time" time. Anyhoo, we're off to the mountains. We get to a the cabin and start unloading our stuff. I put my left over McDonald's in the fridge and proceed to roll up a bleezy for the folks that are down. That get's handled and some time later we go to sleep.

I wake up in the middle of the night thinking I have a bad case of gas. I go to the bathroom and "fold my pocket 2's" as I like to call it, head back to the recliner to sleep only to be kept awake. There was this pain that would just not go away. Skipping all the details, let's just say I did my best Exorcist impression. I clean up and what not and somehow knock out. I wake up in the morning and everyone is going to go boarding but I'm just so out of it. I end up staying back, luckily one of Phil's friends wasn't planning on skiing so I had some company.

All I ended up consuming that day was water, gatorade and later that night clam chowder. I didn't have enough calories in me to go boarding the next day either. On a happier note, since I didn't get to go boarding I decided to build a snowman. My first ever somewhat legit one!

All in all, it was a fun trip just got thrown a curveball. I really wish I got to go boarding but it was great getting to know knew people and just getting a chance to relax.

Let the Flames Begin...

I began typing about how I dislike work but I'm not going to do that. Instead, I'm going to talk about how my team did an awesome job in basketball on Monday. I played a total of 7 games, and we went 6-1. That loss I don't even count because we lost by one and the last shot we all stopped defending because I could have SWORE that he traveled. Whatever, they're friendly games and we needed the rest after winning 5 straight. The team I was on was pretty set on the third game. The first two we had people switch between the games because one guy was old and one guy was really on another team. Now granted, we didn't look like the team that would win but as the saying goes "Champions find ways to win."

So that's what we did. We found ways to win. I'm trying to be a champ at work and so I need to find that way to be a superstar instead of bitching about it. I find a lot of people at work bitch about their position and it makes me wonder all the time. Is the job really that bad or are we just being bitches? I don't have the answer, nor will I probably ever find out as there is no standard measure of how you can tell if a company sucks or not. Well there are but as far as morale I suppose there isn't. Combine that with our high turn over rate, I think we average one person leaving every 3 weeks or so, it doesn't seem like it's a great place to work.

I feel like the tools to succeed and do my job properly are not completely there. Regardless, I'm still there standing and right now that's all I can do.